Um Crazy?
by Miss Freeze
Summary: This is what happens when you watch too much tv...


My little brother and I are crazy, and we have decided to pass along our insanity to you. Enjoy   
  
Disclaimer: We do not own the X-Men or the Veggie Tales story that inspired this. Scary huh?  
  
The Englishman Who Levitated Up The Hill And Came Down With All The Bananas  
  
A big, ugly, wooden, and badly painted hill appears as the background. Magneto levitates in front of the hill, clad in waistcoat and top hat.  
  
Magneto raises his hands and announces: "I am the Englishman who created a magnetic field and levitated up the hill, then I created yet another magnetic field and levitated down with all the bananas." A pile of bananas appears next to Magneto.  
  
"You're a moron!" cries Ray from atop the big, ugly, wooden, and badly painted hill.  
  
"Shut up, fool!" Magneto yells, levitating a metal banana and hurling it at Ray. Ray is knocked upside the head with the metal banana and Sam takes his place.  
  
"Umm, uhhh, you're so selfish!" Sam peeps, ducking his head behind the big, ugly, wooden, and badly painted hill.  
  
Magneto glares at him and prepares to throw yet another metal banana, but Kitty appears and tells him, "Thats in the script," so Magneto throw the metal banana at her.  
  
"Aren't you going to eat them?" Sam asked, his hands shaking as he reads aloud from his script.  
  
Magneto ponders this. "No," he declares. "You can't eat bananas without strawberries."  
  
Cuts to another big, ugly, wooden, and badly painted hill on the other side of the stage. Kurt teleports in front of the hill, clad in a silly Swiss mountain climbing suit.  
  
"Hello, I'm the Swede who bamfed up the hill and bamfed down with all the strawberries," he says, a pile of strawberries appears at his side.  
  
"But K-man," Evan protests, walking up to the stage clad in street wear. "Dude, you're German!"  
  
"Like, yeah Kurt," Kitty agrees, rubbing a big bruise on her head, courtesy of the metal banana.  
  
"Shh!" Kurt hisses, his eyes darting around nervously. "Mr. Magnetic says he'll let my mom go if I do this play with him."  
  
"But Kurt, he doesn't have your mom!" Kitty squeaks. "She's like, bad all for herself!"  
  
Kurt fumes and tries to stomp over to Magneto's side of the stage.  
  
"Wait, wait K-man!" Evan warns, running over to stop his friend. "Just finish the dumb play and hurt him later, this is entertaining."  
  
"Yeah," Kitty nods.  
  
"Hey! Can we get back to the show here?" Jubilee shouts from her position behind Kurt's big, ugly, wooden, and badly painted hill.  
  
"Oh yeah, you guys shoo!" Kurt orders, shoving Kitty and Evan off the stage. "Now where was I? Oh yeah, I'm the Swede.."  
  
"You just said that Nazi!" Jubilee informs him.  
  
"Nazi?!?!"  
  
"JUST GET ON WITH THE PLAY!!!"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"You're such a dork!" Jubilee yells, shreading her script into tiny little pieces and throwing them around like snow flakes.  
  
"Thats not what you're supposed to say!" Kurt and Kitty chorus, both go into a little thing trying to say "jinx" before the other does.  
  
Other players sigh and Magneto levitates two metal bananas and hits them both upside the head.  
  
"Great, now who's gonna play the Swede?" Scott growled as he and Roberto dragged the unconscious actors off the stage.  
  
A few minutes later...  
  
"I'm the damn Swede who walked up the damn hill and came down with all the damn strawberries, can I leave now?" Logan growls as the other actors giggle.  
  
"You're so selfish!" Sam yells from his hill. A metal banana hits him upside the head.  
  
"His hill morons are supposed to say that!" Magneto informs him.  
  
"Hey! Shut up over there!" Jubilee hollers, before ducking out of the range of a flying metal banana.  
  
"You're so selfish Mr. Logan!" Jamie squeaks from off stage. Logan goes running to gut the little shrimp and Kurt bamfs back in his spot.  
  
"I know, but I've got all of the strawberries," Kurt informs Jubilee. He turns to the audience and winks. "Thats a part that Magneto missed," he whispers.  
  
"Aren't you gonna eat them Blue?" Tabby asked, popping her gum and walking up to Kurt's pile of strawberries.  
  
"No Tabby! They're stage props!" Kurt squeaks as Tabby takes a bite out of one of the strawberries.  
  
"Phew! Nasty berries Blue," she says, spitting wooden splinters out into the audience. Audience shouts in disgust and Magneto levitates a metal banana and knocks Tabitha off the stage, into the murderous hands of...Blob!  
  
Blob carries Tabby away, King Kong style and she is never heard of again. Back to the play...  
  
"Of course not, everyone knows you can't eat strawberries without bananas," Kurt tells Jubilee, trying to pick up where they had left off.  
  
Magneto glances over at Kurt's strawberries and levitates himself over.  
  
"May I trouble you for a strawberry?" he asks, eyeing up the wooden fruit.  
  
"No," Kurt says, then teleports over to Magneto's bananas. "May I trouble you for a banana?"  
  
Magento levitates a metal one and hits Kurt in the face with it.  
  
"Mwuhahah! You can have that one!" he cackles.  
  
"Thats not in the script!" Kitty screams.  
  
"You're so selfish!" Jubilee and Sam chorus. "Jinx! Jinx you! I jinxed you first! No, I got you!" and so on.  
  
"Merry Christmas, God bless us, everyone," Jamie limps onto the stage, his left leg cut off by Logan's claws.  
  
"Thats not in the script!"  
  
The End.  
  
Aw, did I forget to warn you? Sorry. Not! Bwuhahahahaha! You know, insanity is wasted on the young 


End file.
